Overdose Awareness Day flag raising offers remembrance, support and hope

Pictured are Anysha Keller-Ivory and Anna Marie Iredale, who is holding a photo of her late son, Matthew Keller – also Keller-Ivory’s uncle – who died in 2017 from a overdose. The pair are hosting the annual Overdose Awareness flag raising at St. Marys town hall Aug. 31 at 9 a.m. in memory of those who have been lost to overdose and addiction, and in support of their family members and friends who are grieving their loss.

By Galen Simmons

Nearly nine years after losing her adult son, Matthew Keller, to an overdose, St. Marys resident Anna Marie Iredale continues to turn her grief into support for families navigating substance use and the loss of a loved one.

Iredale will host the town’s annual International Overdose Awareness Day flag raising at St. Marys town hall Aug. 31 at 9 a.m. The gathering will include speakers with lived experience who have lost loved ones to overdose, along with information and resources intended to provide hope, understanding and connection.

Iredale lost Keller in September 2017 after he experienced an overdose and remained without oxygen long enough to suffer a fatal brain injury. His liver was later donated for transplant. Before returning to substance use, Keller had been substance free for three years. Iredale said he began using again while grieving the sudden death of his stepbrother and close friend.

“He thought he would be able to stop it tomorrow,” she said. “It didn’t happen. It grabbed him and it owned him that time, and he couldn’t get out. He tried. He did really try.”

For years after his death, Iredale struggled to process the loss.

“It took a good five years” before she felt able to think clearly again, she said. “It’s different when it’s your kid.”

As Matthew’s death anniversary approaches each year, Iredale finds it helpful to plan something constructive that honours him and supports others.

“Sitting at home and just hurting didn’t bring him back,” she said.

That need for connection ultimately led her to Moms Stop The Harm, a national network of families affected by substance-use-related harms and deaths. The organization provides peer support through groups including Healing Hearts for grieving families and Holding Hope for those supporting someone who uses substances.

“There was a lot of comfort in the groups from other moms across Canada that have gone through very similar situations,” Iredale said. “Hearing about their grief made me realize, ‘OK, I’m all right. I’m just going through the process of what a mother would go through losing her kid like this.’ ”

Through Moms Stop The Harm and other bereavement groups, Iredale has built relationships with mothers across Ontario and Canada. She now reaches out when she learns of someone whose child is struggling with substance use or has died from overdose.

“I don’t have all the answers, and I may not be the friend that they need, but maybe some of the people I know could be,” she said.

Her granddaughter, Anysha Keller-Ivory, who is Matthew’s niece and recently graduated from an addiction and mental-health worker program, said she admires the way Iredale uses her experience to help others.

“It is very nice to see how much she does for Matt and for Overdose Awareness Day and to help others,” Keller-Ivory said. “I love hearing about how (she’s) gone to other moms who have just gone through this, and (she’s) there waiting to help take them into (her) arms.”

Iredale said that support can make a meaningful difference. She recalled encouraging one woman to reconnect with a son from whom she had been estranged for roughly 15 years. The two rebuilt their relationship and spoke each Sunday for the final two years of his life.

“I was glad I made a difference,” Iredale said.

She also works to reduce the stigma surrounding substance use and overdose deaths, including by encouraging people-first language that does not define someone by their addiction.

“We don’t identify our loved ones by their addiction. That’s not who they are,” she said. “You wouldn’t call a person who has cancer ‘cancer,’ so you don’t label people that way.”

Keller-Ivory agreed that language matters.

“Nobody wakes up and decides, ‘I want to be a substance user when I grow up,’ ” she said.

Iredale hopes the Aug. 31 gathering will help grieving families understand they do not have to suffer in isolation and give those supporting someone who uses substances a place to find resources without shame.

“It helps ease their mind that they don’t need to be like this – that they can hold their head up,” Iredale said. “It’s nothing the parents did. Nobody chooses addiction.”

The event also allows families to remember the people behind the statistics and demonstrate that joy and meaningful relationships remain possible alongside grief.

“The pain is not gone,” Iredale said. “But we’ve brought joy into our lives because we don’t want to sit there in the pain day in and day out.”

Iredale has previously honoured Matthew through food and clothing drives, advocacy and other community initiatives intended to reduce stigma and support vulnerable residents.