Domestic-violence survivor urges early action at Stop VAW session

Dr. Jennifer Olenewa, Stop VAW co-ordinator, speaks with IPV survivor Sydney Touzel at the recent Stop Violence Against Women information session at Little Falls Public School in St. Marys.

By Amanda Nelson

Intimate partner violence doesn’t usually begin with bruises – it begins with control.

That was the message Sydney Touzel shared with attendees at a Feb. 17 Stop Violence Against Women (Stop VAW) community information session in St. Marys, where she spoke candidly about surviving an attack in 2020 and the subtle warning signs she wishes more people understood.

“A lot of people assume that it starts physical,” Touzel said. “In my experience, there was financial, emotional, gas lighting and then isolation. It started off very slow, which I think a lot of people don’t realize. It started with tiny things like asking for my phone, asking where I was and then that escalated into arguments, which turned into things being thrown, then holes in walls and then things being thrown at me.”

Touzel has since become an advocate for survivors and recently raised nearly $13,000 for Optimism Place in Stratford. Her focus during the session was on helping others recognize abusive behaviours early – before they escalate.

She also emphasized the importance of communicating with police when it is safe to do so. Officers were called in her case on three occasions, but she noted police can only act when there are legal grounds.

“You don’t necessarily have to disclose every single thing that’s happened, but if you just give them one little bit of information that they can act on, that can make a mountain of difference, even just a nod when they ask certain questions. If you don’t say anything, they can’t do anything.”

Touzel’s remarks were part of a broader Stop VAW session hosted by Dr. Jennifer Olenewa, Stop VAW co-ordinator, who reviewed the different types of abuse and how to recognize the signs of intimate partner violence (IPV). Participants also learned how to respond supportively to someone experiencing abuse and what resources are available in Perth County.

Olenewa shared that in 2019, IPV cost $7.4 billion – a number that has increased since the pandemic – and noted rural communities face higher rates of violence.

“More significantly, the rate in rural communities for women is 75 per cent higher than women who live in cities,” Olenewa said. “So, there is a way greater risk of experiencing IPV in rural communities, such as Perth County.”

She added barriers in rural areas can include slower emergency response times, limited access to services, lack of affordable transit, isolation, firearms, limited internet access and fewer safe housing options.

Const. Darren Fischer, Stratford Police Service community resource and media relations officer, also spoke about when to contact police and explained the mandatory charge policy, which allows officers to lay charges when reasonable grounds exist, even if a victim does not want to proceed.

“Police will come. We provide emergency services and can be called 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,” Fischer said.

Stop VAW is hosting additional community sessions across Perth County, including one in Stratford at the end of April. To learn more or register, visit stopvaw.ca and click on Events.

Anyone concerned about intimate partner violence can contact Optimism Place’s 24/7 support line at 519-271-5550 or 1-800-265-8598.