“Abuse thrives in silence”: It’s Not Ok. campaign highlights hidden signs of intimate partner violence

Optimism Place continues to promote its Not Ok. campaign, which raises awareness that intimate partner violence (IPV) is a widespread issue, both nationally and in local communities.

According to the campaign website, more than four in 10 women will experience some form of gender-based violence in their lifetime. In the past year alone, 43 women in Ontario were killed by a current or former partner.

Across the province, more than 100 municipalities – including Stratford and West Perth – have declared IPV an epidemic. In November, the Ontario government went further, describing IPV as endemic.

Labelling IPV as endemic recognizes it as a chronic, systemic issue rather than a series of isolated incidents. It acknowledges that violence within intimate relationships is both predictable and preventable, and that addressing it requires long-term, coordinated efforts across multiple systems – not just crisis response.

Understanding gender-based violence begins with recognizing its warning signs and acknowledging that abuse can occur at any age, says Donna Jean Forster, Optimism Place executive director.

Forster says more women in retirement are seeking help than ever before.

“We have had more women over 70 coming into shelter than ever before,” she said. “They’ve been in very abusive relationships for 40 or 50 years, and they’re at 70 years old saying, ‘I now know that this was not good, and I’m getting out.’”

Gender-based violence is not limited to physical harm. It can include emotional and psychological abuse, such as name-calling, threats and controlling behaviour, including limiting who a person is allowed to see, noted Forster.

Financial abuse is also common and may involve restricting access to bank accounts or preventing someone from working.

Increasingly, abuse occurs through digital means. Technological abuse can involve tracking someone’s location, online harassment or cyberstalking.

Forster says abuse often thrives in silence, making public awareness critical. When people understand the full spectrum of gender-based violence, they are better able to recognize when something is wrong – whether it is happening to a loved one, a neighbour or someone else in the community.

“Are they putting you down? Are they talking negatively about you? Are they talking about the clothes you wear? Are they calling you names? Are they not allowing you to spend time with your family and friends?” she said.

Recognizing these signs, she adds, can lead to earlier intervention, safer conversations and stronger support for survivors.

For more information or to seek help, visit itsnotok.ca or call 519-271-5550 for 24/7 support.