Paris Wednesday night men’s billiards:

By Jeff “Stones” Johnston 

Sports Correspondent

Bank managers, naked chickens, and a final scratch

Well folks, it was a night full of twists, turns, and new faces. The chalk dust was flying, and by the end of the evening, one of us was definitely plucked. We found ourselves back at Sharkey’s for the final night of the season, and with the teams so evenly matched, you could feel the tension in the air.

Floody and Pickaroo were lighting it up early. Pick was sinking bank shots and long calls with such regularity that we’ve officially appointed him our new "Bank Manager." On the other side, Big Larry and GG (Graham) struggled to find the side pockets; I suspect they already had their minds on the golf course.

Kopper and Fergie had the hot sticks tonight. We also had the pleasure of welcoming Arnie Valian (former PDHS teacher) to the hall. After a quick chat with Fergie, Arnie stepped in as my partner. He’s a steady shooter with a polished cue, but we struggled nonetheless—no thanks to yours truly.

As for Oscar and Chicken, they were unusually off their game—or at least Chicken was. He was absolutely plucked, and let me tell you, there’s nothing worse than a naked chicken playing pool. I can deal with playing dogs, but not that! Suffice it to say, Oscar spent a good portion of the night with his head in his hands.

Arnie had to head out early to let his dog out, but the semi-finals moved forward regardless. Big Larry and GG went stick-to-stick against Floody and Pickaroo, but it ended quickly in a humbling fashion; "Larry the Bank" was on fire, and Floody was as steady as high water in the spring. Meanwhile, over in "Chickenville," Oscar and Chicken faced down Fergie and Kopper, with Fergie emerging as the undisputed star of that match.

The finals brought one last twist: Fergie had to leave for a "meeting of the minds" (and perhaps a chalk inventory) with Oscar, so I stepped in as Kopper’s partner against Floody and Pickaroo.

The final game of the season did not disappoint, though it didn't last long. Pickaroo was still draining bank shots like a pro, yet in a classic pool hall ending, a scratch on the 8-ball sent Kopper and I to an unexpected victory.

As we wrap up, a salute is in order for our top players this year: Oscar, Larry the Bank Man, and Kopper. 

And of course, a nod to Chicken, who is still scratching and clucking his way toward improvement.

With golf season just around the corner, I’ll say thank you again, boys. We’ll be back in the fall. It’s been a blast!