Not Ok. campaign urges Stratford residents to speak up on gender-based violence

CONNOR LUCZKA, Local Journalism Initiative Reporter

According to Optimism Place, a Stratford-based women’s shelter, Perth County OPP receive more than 600 calls a year regarding intimate partner violence.

Now, the local women’s shelter is inviting everyone to say, “Not okay.”

“We're really excited to launch the Not Ok. campaign,” Donna Jean Forster, executive director at Optimism Place, told the Times. “… The goal of the campaign is that people are talking and that people are learning the signs of violence against women and, in particular, they're learning the signs related to coercive control and how that might show up in their relationships.

“We often hear that people want to help but they don't know how to help. And so this campaign opens the door to conversations about what's not okay, and also at the same time, helps people to understand what the signs are and the ways that we can help each other.”

According to Optimism Place’s campaign, coercive control limits a person’s freedom, independence, or sense of self. These patterns are often subtle but deeply harmful and there are five forms of abuse which may suggest coercive control: physical, psychological/emotional/verbal, sexual, financial and spiritual.

Furthermore, there are 10 signs of escalating risk that residents should be aware of. Signs include:

• The person fears being hurt, and/or fears for the safety of a child or another family member.

• The partner has a known history of domestic violence.

• The partner shows obsessive behaviour such as stalking, harassment, excessive gift-giving, sexual jealousy, and/or possessiveness.

• The partner has made threats involving weapons, and/or has access to firearms or knives.

• There have been threats to kill the person, a family member, and/or themselves.

• The partner has violated a no-contact and/or other court order.

• The relationship is ending, and/or there has been a recent pregnancy or birth.

• The partner is currently unemployed and/or without stable housing.

• The partner’s substance use contributes to an increase in violent incidents.

• The frequency or severity of violent incidents has escalated.

Forster said that it is natural to not speak about abuse or potential abuse in another relationship, but by keeping silent we allow abuse to remain a taboo in communities.

“We want people to start talking about it,” Forster said. “That's what we want – people to be aware of it in their own relationships and aware of when they see it in other places, in family members, friends.

“That's why this campaign has a website where people can learn the signs and can help people to understand the ways that they can be supportive to their friends and family members, and also then directs them to the staff at Optimism Place who answer our telephone line 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They're trained professionals who can provide support and guidance to friends and family members.”

Optimism Place launched the campaign on Nov. 25 to coincide with the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, a United Nations’ recognized day that kickstarts 16 days of activism worldwide to curb the trend and ultimately eradicate intimate partner violence.

As Forster said, gender-based violence is endemic, as can be seen in this community. Throughout the years it has been operating (since 1983), there has been a steady stream of service-users. There may be sometimes where the shelter is being used more often, but the community and outreach programs are always in use.

The Not Ok. campaign is planned as a long-term way of making warning signs of intimate partner violence visible. Violence in a relationship can worsen over time and risk can escalate exponentially. If three out of the 10 listed signs are visible, residents are being asked to contact Optimism Place at 519-271-5550 for a risk assessment and safety-planning support.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.

“Our staff are available all the time to answer these calls,” Forster said. “And we would rather answer these calls to support people then have people uproot their lives and have something really terrible happen. Being able to support people early and often is really important.”

For more information, visit https://itsnotok.ca/learn-the-signs/.