No one ages alone: The power of connection
- 23 hours ago
- 7 min read
Born on February 11, 1931, to Alec and Catherine Kennedy, Jean Smith was one of seven kids raised on a farm, Glen Roy, near St. Andrews in Nova Scotia.
At the age of 95, Jean has lived a full life, and the legacy of her choices is seen in the rich relationships she still has with her ever-growing family, as well as with friends from her younger years.
It is these connections that Jean attributes to keeping her going. It is the appetite for constant learning that have allowed her to remain cognitively sharp into these later years of her life.
“People are important. Stay connected to people,” Jean said.
As we age, it can be difficult to see how our minds or bodies change. Our social circles decrease due to loss or lack of communication and that can be isolating.
Jean also stresses that stimulating your mind with constant learning is important.
“I think education, studying, learning, it’s so important. Reading is so important to keep someone up to date,” stressed Jean.
“My advice is to never give that up and keep learning. Keep pushing for more knowledge, and you might be able to share that knowledge one day.”
Jean’s early education began at St. Andrew’s School, a two-room schoolhouse serving both elementary and secondary students. The school was a two-mile walk from home, with about 60 students.
“I think it might have been family members who drew me into nursing,” explained Jean.
“I loved going to the hospital and waiting for my parents while [they were] visiting a patient, and I loved the smell of the hospital.” It was at a young age when Jean decided to follow her passion to study medicine. With aunts who were nurses, Jean saw that the professional world of nursing was a possibility.
While in training, nurses worked for free, training under more experienced nurses, some who were nuns, and received room, board and food while they worked and learned.
For Jean, nursing was more than a job. Nursing brought a sense of structure for Jean, and helping the patients in different wards made it worth it.
“I didn’t look at anything else to become, I just wanted to be a nurse and to help,” Jean remembered.
“There was so much to learn in the medical field.”
Although the majority of her career was spent working in labour and delivery and then later with premature babies in the neonatal unit, Jean’s early career was more varied. Jean spent time training in medicine, in surgery, the OR, and delivery. She spent time in different units and remembers with pride, when she was taught how to make a bed properly and how to treat a patient like a human with dignity.
“I also enjoyed the classes, because I was learning,” Jean acknowledged.
“It stayed with me forever. I found it stimulating.”
Following her training at St. Martha’s Hospital in Antigonish, Nova Scotia, which cost $85 in tuition fees in 1950, Jean left Nova Scotia.
Jean went south across the border with a group of friends and nurses. They arrived at present day New York Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Centre on 168th Street in New York City, along the Hudson River.
“We decided we’d go to the States. You could get a job tomorrow; you didn’t have to have a job when you got there. They would ask you, when you could start,” Jean admitted.
New York City was so big, new and eye-opening for Jean. Moving from small-town Nova Scotia to the Big Apple was quite a change, but Jean remembers it as a wonderful experience.
Jean spent a few years in New York City, and then the west coast was calling. Along with other nurse friends, Jean landed at Stanford University Hospital.
While only there for a year, Jean found herself coming home for some weddings, and then to tend to her mother who needed surgery, and she eventually decided to not return to San Francisco.
“I was there for a year, and it was not as long a time as I wanted to be there. It wasn’t my desire, but other things came up. My life path changed,” she explained.
“I had gone home, to look after my mom who had surgery, and I was unemployed after San Francisco, so I applied for a job. I felt comfortable going back to New York State.”
With her New York State registration still valid, Jean found work in Buffalo at Roswell Park Cancer Institute.
Jean says that she wasn’t too happy there, that caring for cancer patients wasn’t her first love in nursing, however, she welcomed the challenge and learning opportunity.
While living and working in Buffalo, Jean crossed the border into Hamilton to visit her newly married sister. It was on a weekend visiting her sister that Jean attended a dance in Dundas and met her future husband, Rudy.
She met Rudy and married shortly after in 1956. They soon had a family and eventually Jean and Rudy had five children all while working at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Hamilton.
“He [Rudy] talked me into moving to Hamilton, and I knew I could get a job at any hospital, and we lived closest to St. Joe’s,” Jean remembered.
“I enjoyed my time there and it was quite a hospital. It still is.”
While at St. Joe’s, Jean worked in delivery and eventually, following a course in neo-natal nursing, she ended her career working in NICU.
Jean worked at St. Joe’s for nearly 38 years.
“More knowledge kept coming forward, the knowledge was changing, about babies and mothers. It was interesting,” Jean said.
Jean officially retired from her nursing profession in 1996.
Often, retirement means a loss of purpose and structure, and it was through connections, an appetite for learning and her ever-growing family that Jean’s life remained full.
In Jean’s lifetime, she’s seen a lot of change socially, politically and culturally.
One of the most significant changes she has seen in her life is technology. From growing up without central heating or electricity on her family farm in Nova Scotia, to using an iPhone today, Jean has watched the means of communication change rapidly.
It is the iPhone that she carries in her pocket that enables communication and helps her stay connected.
“Staying connected keeps your mind healthy,” she admitted.
Jean is someone who thrives on connection and stimulating conversations. Her appetite for learning is often displayed at the dinner table during lively discussions touching on politics, travel and sports. At 95, she is hungry to absorb, learn and push for more.
“Being with people keeps you going,” Jean stressed.
Even though she had a long and successful career in nursing, Jean believes her biggest accomplishment is her family. That is her legacy.
“Having a family is a big accomplishment. Whether they are successful or not, just raising human beings who stay true to themselves, not to please other people, but find their path and their passion, is an accomplishment,” said Jean.
“People say, my mom would be proud of me. You don’t have to get to that point, but rather, are you proud of yourself?”
Jean lived through many historical events, from the lean years of the Great Depression, to the Second World War, the civil rights movements, equal rights movements for women in Canada, a pandemic, and several other wars peppered throughout the years.
The biggest event that she lived through that changed the world, was the Second World War. She says it was a turning point for many industries and for the job market and women’s roles in society.
Life is never linear or perfect, and throughout her life, when Jean faced any challenges, like running a household and having five kids, she says she got on with it and worked things out.
Every decade has brought learning, joy, love, opportunity, excitement and growth, but Jean believes one of her favourite age ranges was 18 to 25.
“That’s where you make bonds at 18, you’re in the same position as the other girls, and you’d be away from home,” said Jean.
“Those bonds are strong.”
Jean remained in touch with these friends from her early nursing days until their deaths.
In her 96th year, Jean has lived through a lot of experiences, including love and loss, and when it comes to regrets, she has none but one, and it comes from the experience of not being there when her mother died.
“I have regrets when my mom was ill. She died before she was 60 and I wasn’t there when she died, and here I was, the nurse in the family,” lamented Jean.
“I thought of it later, they could have granted me months-long absence, but I didn’t take advantage of that because I needed the money, yet she was so sick. I felt bad for my mother, I could have given her the best, being a nurse.”
If Jean’s mother was able to hear these regrets today, Jean says she knows her mother would tell her to not feel such heavy regret. That her mother would say she was glad Jean was chasing after her life and on the move.
When Jean was a young adult, she would enjoy a glass of wine and a dance.
“Kick it up, they used to say. Have a good time and not take things too seriously,” concluded Jean.
And as a younger grandmother, she was always dancing and laughing in the kitchen, making light of the night. Today she still follows her own advice.
When asked what her secret to longevity is, Jean says being around family has helped contribute to her well-being.
“You must be relaxed, happy and satisfied with your life at this age, and they contribute to my well-being. Age is just a number; it’s only a number,” added Jean.
“Being here [in Goderich] and connected with family has contributed to me being another year older. It keeps me going, and it makes me happy.”